Summer of Fun!

A client and her beloved have broken up. The distance between them was long, and for the foreseeable future that wouldn’t change due to career and visa complications. Staying together was painful. The break up has also been painful, though there’s probably also been a bit of relief in making a decision.

This coming weekend is seen by some as the unofficial start of the summer season, and my client and I have claimed this to be her “Summer of Fun.” Sounds so easy, right? Right. Well, this particular client is in fact a bold and amazing student of life and when she goes for something, commits to something, she works very hard toward that goal. She’s a total treat and a pleasure to coach in general and especially on the more action-oriented items.

The downside to being such a good student however, is that she prefers to know exactly what’s going to happen and what specifically she can do to control for an outcome. She’s not especially comfortable with ambiguity and unfortunately, this doesn’t work super well when what’s required is EASE and LETTING GO.

You can imagine then, that in the dating world (where you certainly can’t control outcomes), the flood of confusion and guessing can be a bit much for her. All the — why hasn’t he called/or texted back/are we friends or more/I’m not meeting any one I like/what does this message mean??? – adds up to a lot of frustrating head spinning.

For this Summer of Fun, she’s going to practice loosening her grip, taking things more easily, way less seriously — basically a complete and total shift in perspective and approach. Specifically for my client, this means making sure there’s a lot more plain old silly fun on her own and with friends in her life, trying out her flirting approaches, not getting attached to any one person or any particular outcome, and rolling with possibilities even if they challenge her sense of order and wish to control. Surprisingly, she’s actually pretty excited about it all. It doesn’t have to be a permanent change, but a new season, and summer especially with it’s lightness and brightness, seems to be the perfect opportunity to try a new way.

What changes could YOUR Summer of Fun bring? Let me know!

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