It’s been a weird few weeks for me. While Texas is not in the news anymore, the recovery down here continues and will for a very long time. People have lost a lot, it’s devastating. For us, after we defrosted physically, we’ve been dealing with house repairs along with defrosting emotionally. It was a really scary situation, I cannot lie, and I found myself in a stunned fog for a while. I’m happy to report it’s lifting. Whew!
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A friend said my February in Texas was a month-long microcosm of the last year, and that feels right. So much changing so quickly, so many fears and worries, brand new sets of decisions every few hours/days. The tumult has been intense. Several other friends observed that this year or so of moving from one crisis to the next, against the backdrop of a global crisis (including the ongoing wave of anti-Asian hate*), can’t be that good for either our individual or collective health.
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I agree. If you’ve been on my email list for a while, you know that I believe that regular self-care is foundational to having both the life and career we want. And after this past year (and this past month in particular), I’m clearer than ever that prioritizing our well-being, our time, and our boundaries is vitally essential.
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Taking care of ourselves is absolutely not a one size fits all, and it doesn’t have to be a Herculean effort. I think you’d be surprised at the things in my arsenal that I count as self-care, because I keep them super tiny. Super tiny means super doable, and that’s the key. Three deep breaths. ONE deep breath! Closing your eyes while sitting at your desk for 60 seconds. Standing up from your chair, even briefly. Texting a pal with an emoji 🧡, not waiting until you have time for a whole long phone call. Going to a window and looking outside, even if the weather is inclement. These things ALL count, not just massages, facials, and vacations. Get the difference? Tiny and often.
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True self-care happens in tiny actions, often and regularly. .
 
That one about connecting even briefly with friends and loved ones has been a real life saver for me this past month. I haven’t had bandwidth to fully connect, but giving and receiving little check-ins and notes has been incredibly nourishing. If you’re feeling overloaded with video calls as your primary form of connection AND you’re also feeling lonely, give this one a try. I have found brief notes, briefer connections to be so sustaining. Try adding in mini connections to your schedule 3 times this week. Put it in your calendar so you’ll be sure to do it. Keep it short and sweet. Let me know how it goes!
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*I am disgusted and horrified by the uptick — up 1900% over the last year in NYC alone — of hate directed toward our Asian neighbors. I signed up for this bystander intervention training and here are some additional resources for those of you who want to help: Anti-asian violence resources, thread of AAPI community organizations, Anti-Asian Hate Crimes Are On The Rise Due To COVID-19. Here’s How To Help.
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