Limits

limits
I don’t know about you, but I’m not bored. I’m lucky that my work has been steady, and I’ve gotten creative about new ways to help right now, so I’m finding myself as busy, maybe even busier, than ever. In fact, this all-at-home-all-the-time factor means I feel like I could be doing even more. I’ve worked hard on setting time boundaries for myself.
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Whether you’re busy with work or not, I think we’re all learning a lot about how much there is to do. If you’re a working parent, trying to work from home while keeping your family going (aka alive!) — the layers are endless. Look, even if we’re on our own and engaged with doing the profound work of looking at ourselves and our patterns, there’s a lot to focus on, which can leave us wiped out.
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What I know is that it’s become impossible to continue with any semblance of habitual “I’ll just do it myself!” behaviors. Maybe in *the before* when we could access help and outsource, maybe we could have taken it all on. But really not even then. Even in the best of times, this behavior is a recipe for disaster. I’m seeing the ripple effects of taking too much on show up with so many of my clients.
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It’s a cliché, but it’s true: “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” Truly. You really cannot be of use to anyone without putting your own oxygen mask on first. Sure, you may be able to muscle through for a minute (or seemingly longer), but the fatigue, overwhelm and resentment always catches up with you. The wear and tear builds and is simply not helpful. It’s destructive, in fact, to your relationships.
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If there were ever a moment to SAY NO before you are at your max capacity, now is the time! This starts with telling yourself a simple message: “You’re worth it.” Getting grounded in your value is the key first step to setting and upholding any limit at all. Once you master that, only then you can make really empowered choices about setting limits around your time, your work, and your life.
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Related note: next week is Memorial Day, typically the official start to summer, and summer celebrating and playing. So yes, it feels pretty weird here in NYC this year. The weather hasn’t even been super summery like it usually is (no complaints, I personally love the chillier temps we’ve been having). But ever since I moved to the east coast, I marvel at how short and fun-filled summer can be. I know this year will be different, but it occurred to me: I can still take a vacation. Because I want to practice what I teach, and because we teach what we need — and I need to set a work-limit! — I went ahead and scheduled a little at-home down time. Maybe you can carve some (admittedly very different looking, less social) down time this summer too?
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P.S. My workshop, Self Care in Challenging Times, is really helping teams and organizations right now with some practical and actionable tools. Want to bring it to your community? Email me HERE.
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