Making Magic

Sometimes magic happens in my work with clients. This shows up as simple perspective shifts that are so transformative, they seem magical. These shifts are so essential because of the loop of negativity. Time and time again, I’ve seen clients get trapped in this loop.

The negativity loop is set off by some trigger that’s personal to us, and knows exactly where to hit us where it counts: right in our self-doubt and insecurities. Once our trigger gets hit, unless we’ve done the work to actively counteract it, we start to question pretty much everything. This can result in inertia-induced overwhelm which leads to freezing and inaction. And this inability to take action leads to–uh oh–cue the, “I’m a failure. AGAIN!!” soundtrack. Of course, feeling like a failure feeds our inability to move forward, and voila, we’re stuck in loop of negativity.

Ever found yourself in this trap? YES, you’re normal and NO, you are not alone.

In fact, I just had lunch with a coaching colleague who was bemoaning this very issue. She has a lot of exciting things on the horizon in her business, and the ever-expanding list of priorities and tasks was weighing on her. She was under a lot of pressure, and her thinking had become somewhat negative. Interestingly, after attending inspiring talks related to her work, instead of being uplifted and feeling the relevancy of her work validated, she fell into a negativity loop. She was thinking things like, “if I don’t take advantage of this window of time, ALL the work I’ve put into my business will be wasted.”

Kind of catastrophic thinking, right?

That’s the trap of negative thinking. It totally messes with us. I offered her a reframe. “How about telling yourself something different like – what great confirmation that now is exactly the time my work is most needed.” Wouldn’t you know it, but with that simple statement, her entire body relaxed.  She smiled and said, “that helps a lot. I really needed that perspective shift.”

We talked about it a bit more, and she related that she was already feeling lighter, grounded, ready and excited to dig in to moving forward. That one reframe was so impactful, it was THAT POWERFUL for her. Good news, it’s not some magic I alone possess. You too can do it for yourself.

The first step is noticing when you’re telling yourself a negative story. The next step is finding ways to flip it around. There is no one right way to frame your story. Try various more positive alternatives on, and see how they land with you. When you first start, it can feel silly. I know that sometimes, when we’re in a really low place, breaking the negative loop/our of the negative mindset can feel impossible. Just keep at it. Small perspective shifts add up to major changes over time. The *magic* is to keep going.

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