Believe it or not, I am a recovering people pleaser.
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My inability to set healthy boundaries got me into a lot of trouble. I didn’t get that by saying yes to everyone else all the time, I was always saying no to myself. It got me really sick, in fact. More than once.
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The messaging I received early on in my career didn’t help. One mentor or supervisor after another told me that I should embrace the “hustle.” In fact, I recall one of them telling me to try and work — to see clients in my therapeutic practice — even if I was a bit sick. Going hard in hustle mode is a direct line to abandoning yourself and your values.
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Getting so sick when I was a single mom to a really young kid was THE wake up call for me. Almost hospitalized and out of work for 3 weeks, I vowed to put myself first. It took a long time, and honestly a lot of therapy, coaching, trying and failing. But believe me, I don’t work when I feel ill, and I am much more savvy with my limit-setting and prioritization.
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It’s why I’m always preaching about boundaries and how they will Save 👏Our 👏 Lives 👏. Because they will. They saved mine.
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Also, I don’t always get it right. Q2 of this year has been a huge reminder that setting and upholding boundaries is a practice. I’m trying to recalibrate after being pulled sideways by over-working and doing too much, all at a breakneck pace. This obviously wasn’t working for me, and that’s okay because it’s never too late to get back on track. I wrote about how important it is to take care of ourselves in my last post, take a look and see if you can relate.
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I’m fortunate to be heading out on vacation, but what I think I’m most excited about is my power move (wait for it): I’m unplugging completely.
Not taking my computer with me kind of unplugging.
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Told all my clients I will not be responding to emails and calls while away kind of unplugging.
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TURNING OFF MY NOTIFICATIONS kind of unplugging.
Whew, that last one feels like a bold step for me. But I’m doing it.
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I mean, will I use my phone, text, scroll or post to social, etc? Maybe. Ok, probably. But only if I feel like it. I’ll be at the beach with family and my priorities are: walks, chats, puzzles, and naps. I’m tired and I need a bit of reset and a well refill.
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I know that all the work, all the sharing, all the activism will be here when I get back. Life and all its parts — professional and personal — are part of a larger journey that I believe is meant to unfold more slowly than we allow. Here’s to recalibrating the pace a bit.
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