Or don’t!
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Geez, I’m always anti-should’s, but am I ever sick of all the SHOULD’s coming our way right now! Like I wrote last week, given our current upside-down situation with a global pandemic(!!), we’re all just doing our best, trying to figure it out. And yet, there are so many articles and ads telling us how to be and feel and do: Get fit! Lose Weight! Be productive! Slow down! Binge TV! Turn off the TV! And on. But the plain truth is there’s simply no one or right way to cope with a global pandemic. I wish!
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Marketing that feeds on our insecurities makes me so upset. Life is hard enough, especially right now. While it’s totally OK to offer options, the “should-” based marketing is unnecessary, unhelpful, and frankly, damaging, as it can trip off all the ways we compare ourselves to others and feel not enough or less than. We may feel like we should be doing what we perceive everyone else to be doing, or like we are less than or not enough or failing in some way. FALSE. No one “should” do anything, especially right now. How about instead, we make meaningful choices about what best serves us and our needs. Intuitive guidance trumps “should-ing” all over ourselves every time.
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Gaining weight doesn’t make you bad, losing weight doesn’t make you good. Eating extra sweets or snacks doesn’t make us bad, just like abstaining doesn’t make us good. If eating healthy comforts, great, and if allowing in treats is what you need, also great. Do what works. Reassess as things change for you. The most important thing is that none of this determines your worth, not on any level. Only you can do that for yourself. We’re quite literally in survival mode, and in order to find ways to thrive even so, it’s essential to give yourself what YOU need. Not what your neighbor, or your beloved, or your best friend, or your fave Instagram follow needs. What YOU need. Always, and especially right now.
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Key survival tip on this: UNFOLLOW and UNSUBSCRIBE. Take your power back over what’s coming your way.
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We forget so easily, but it’s true, you can actually opt out of toxic marketing in your inbox and on your social feeds, and I highly recommend it. Turn off the crap that’s making you feel bad, and ASAP. Instead, fill your feeds with helpful content, and of course continue (from last week’s post) to pour love on yourself exactly as you are. Trust yourself, listen to yourself, and you’ll understand what YOU need in order to feel grounded and as safe and secure as possible.
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For me right now, that’s chocolate, wine and fitness. I work out for my mind as much as for my body; it works for ME. Maybe for you it’s carbs and naps. Maybe you’re finding comfort in eating perfectly healthy. Maybe for you it’s yoga, stretching, breathing exercises, or heck, even screaming exercises. It’s all good. Especially right now. You all know that I’m a firm believer in goals and taking action towards them, but always, and especially in this time of deep uncertainty, none of us are getting there by beating ourselves up along the way.
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Look, I know you may not be exactly where you want to be in your body, and that you even may not feel the most comfortable. Believe me, I get it. I asked a client recently: “What would it be like to have goals, and also to love yourself completely exactly as you are right now?” Answer: “Radical.”
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Ok then. Let’s be radical. And eat that chocolate :).
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PS My friend Jen and I touched on this in our conversation on Instagram last week. She’s an expert on this topic, so for more, check it out here.
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